She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Come on in and take your pants off
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