So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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