So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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