I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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