the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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