literally had 100 drinks last night.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
