dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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