your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
