I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
