Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
