I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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