I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
