when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
