I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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