But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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