Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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