My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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