she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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