He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
