Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
