oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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