Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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