Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
