I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just found puke in my bra..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize