It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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