Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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