Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
