I think I am morally bankrupt
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
