I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
