so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
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Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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