I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
