He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
