I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
