So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
