No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
