what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
