you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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