Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
