I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My feet surprised me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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