He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
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