By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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