it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
