Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
