Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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