bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm both gender and math confused
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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