Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
