So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
