let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
