i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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