Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize