I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
