Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
