This girl is more easily done than said...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
