dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
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so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
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Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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