Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
