you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize