All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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