So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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