His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
