and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
