My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
