SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
