is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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