Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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