Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
