im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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