Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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